![]() ![]() So just forget everything else and be proud and powerful. That's just the word men use for powerful women because they feel threatened. don't touch my face, don't roll my eyes, don't point my fingers, and definitely don't go viral.īased on what? I just lost a debate in my living room, and people think I'm unlikable. I'll add that to my list of things not to do. Then Mom should do something so crazy and stupid, it goes viral. My debate team's on public access, and the only people who watch me are you guys. Throw me for a curveball at the last minute. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to make you nervous. No, honey, if you're hungry, you can have some fruit. Let's just pretend like it never happened. children cursing and old people rapping.Ĭam, we have to tell her it's a bad word. Oh, like you're coming down the aisle!įorget the bride. let's save some petals for Lily, all right? Hands, lips, sarcasm, eye-rolling, wrong side of the face. Sweetheart, why do you think I chose my side of the bed? Well, I couldn't hear it because you were showing me the bad side of your face. If elected, I would consider all opinions and not ignore those of the opposition, as Councilman Bailey has done for six terms. I would consider all perspectives, and I wouldn't ignore opposing. If elected, I would consider all perspectives, and I would not ignore opposing viewpoints. How would you respond to that, Councilman Bailey? Some say the political system is bogged down by ideological hard-liners unwilling to compromise. I saw the need for a stop sign in my neighborhood, and although I collected the necessary signatures and did the paperwork, I found local government to be entirely unhelpful. I-I just think you should be ready for anything. Not if she's the only one in the room who has actual debate experience. I thought the moderator was supposed to be objective. You should at least know why you're running. Mom, you really shouldn't stutter over a basic question like that. Dunphy, why are you running for local office? I'm deeply honored to be here, and I remain, as ever, a humble servant to the greatest little town in the greatest darn. She's probably still traumatized from her near-death experience. Why, suddenly, would she jump in the pool when she doesn't know how to swim? Why don't you teach her not to jump in the pool? I gotta say, it was unpleasant but effective. Seriously? Manny you teach to swim by throwing him in the pool, but the dog gets swimming lessons? I let her out, and then I got caught up in my couponing. Well, why don't you greet me at the door, wagging your tail?īecause I'm self-conscious about my body. Why don't you say "hello" to your wife when you come home? You know what? If the bride wants to have a tacky wedding, she can have a tacky wedding. It's every little girl's dream to be a flower girl in a wedding.Ĭam, she's gonna look like Little Bo Peep. Or, that's how we lower her self-esteem, by bombarding her with confusing vocabulary. Well, that's how she learns new words, by us using them. Yeah, and we can point out all the little things she does that turn people off.Ĭontaining? She doesn't know "containing." How? How, Phil? How are we gonna "work on it"?įirst of all, lose the snippy attitude. Thank you.īut if we work on it, it's totally fixable. You yelled at my teacher for calling me "special." I mean, how many people read the "Weekly." Well, I just don't think it's a big deal. ![]() We can't have some unscientific poll shaking Claire's confidence. To those voters, I say, "Wait till she sees this." We have a wedding tonight, and this afternoon, Claire is debating Duane Bailey in the race for town council.Īnd now the "Weekly Saver" says that some voters find Claire.
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